What American Idol Can Teach You About Selling Your Home
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America’s most watched talent competition is as educational as it is entertaining. After analyzing hours and hours of footage I have compiled a list of the most compelling lessons from the show that is sure to help your sell your home in a tough market. In this article you will be faced with several questions that are designed to prepare your for the road ahead. Questions like,
- Is your home a recording artist or cruise ship entertainment?
- Have you contracted the ill-fated disease, Sanjaya Syndrome, a.k.a., Abdulitis?
- Is your house a Dawg or just a dog?
- What should you do if your house is a William Hung?
Picture this:
You are a contestant on American Idol and it’s down to the final 12 contestants. As a starry-eyed hopeful you can see your name in lights and feel the drool of rabid fans as you walk the red carpet hob-knobbing with Hollywood’s A-list.
Your confidence is strong. You are not worried about your competitors, they are hardly a threat to you. Sure, a few of them can sing well but they’re not very marketable. Others will crumble under the pressure. The rest of them, well, their days are numbered.
There are at least two, however, that could quickly send you to the “Top 10 Celebrity Wannabes” special on VH1. With poise and a beautiful toothy smile you praise your competitors to the camera while secretly hoping for a freakish intervention from Tanya Harding and Jeff Gilooly.
Nervously you face Simon, Randy, Ellen and What’s-Her-Name and brace for the verdict. Somewhere between the patronizing and incoherent blathering, you recognize a unified response from the judges:
“At this point in the competition, you really have to bring your ‘A’ Game, every time. No exceptions.”
That is exactly what it is like selling your home these days.
Recording Artist or Cruise Ship Entertainer?
I love Simon’s direct approach to critique. One of my favorites, “You came across as a background singer for a background singer.” Love him or hate him, Simon tells it like it is. His point is obvious, though. If you are going win the competition, you must stand out from the pack. Another phrase he’s known for, “that was utterly forgettable”. His advice also applies to selling your home.
You see, when buyers first jump in my car to go see homes they are energetic and excited. A few hours later they’re tired and irritable - just like judges during Idol auditions. After a full day of touring homes they all blur together and most are completely forgotten (these are the Bucky Covingtons of the home fray). The homes that get the Kelly Clarkson treatment are the ones that really stand out from their competitors - in a good way. They demonstrate true value. They stick in the minds of the buyers. They are in tip-top shape, reasonably priced, and present themselves well. They genuinely earn the right for Randy to affectionately call them, “Dawg”.
A Common Disease: Sanjaya Syndrome, also known as, Abulitis
It’s astonishing how many contestants are delusional performers convinced they have exceptional talent—regardless of what the rest of the world thinks. Again, Simon said it best,
“I met someone the other night who’s 28 years old, and he hasn’t worked a day since he left college because he’s pursuing a dream he’ll never, ever realize: He thinks he’s a great singer. Actually, he’s crap.”
Thinking too highly of yourself as a performer is a common disease called Abdulitis or Sanjaya Sydrome. You remember Sanjaya, right? With his funky hair and “I believe in myself” attitude. Just because he believed in his own awesomeness, didn’t make it true. When he performed, that was my cue to take a bathroom break. This same disease crippled Paula Abdul. It became fatal when she confidently looked at the camera and said, “I’m tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am.” Oh, Paula, please stop.
Unfortunately, Abdulitis strikes many homeowners, too. They think way too highly of their home and believe theirs is that rare exception that deserves special consideration. It is a common disease that can stop buyers dead in their tracks.
Common symptoms and phrases indicative of Abulitis include:
- Over pricing - “I realize homes may be selling for less but ours is worth more!”
- Lack of preparation - you have to put your best foot forward every time
- Disregarding the advice of industry professionals - I’m just saying
- Blaming your Agent when the buyers reject your home and it doesn’t sell
You have every right to love your home and cherish the memories that were created there. Just like every doting parent believes their child is the best in the world and Sanjaya has the right to love himself so much. When it comes to selling that home, however, the only opinion that counts is that of the voters, i.e., the Buyers. If they keep voting against you, then it is time to face the cold hard facts and address the root of the problem.
Moreover, the only antidote for Abulitis is a strong dose of Simon – someone who is willing to tell the truth and say what everyone else is already thinking. Yeah, it’s painful but you really need to hear it. You must be brutally honest about your home and make the necessary changes. Otherwise, you’re just another Trista, the cowardly lion:
So, what does it take to become the next American Home Idol with a promising contract? Here are a few tips that will help your home get a leg up on the competition.
1. If Your Home Is A Clay Aiken Then Get A Make Over
You may recall Clay’s initial audition: a scrawny little nerd that opened his mouth and blew the judges away. They put him through to the next round but told him to work on his appearance. The next time we saw him, his stylist miraculously created an outward appearance that matched his inward talent. (Well, sort of.)
If your home is a Clay Aiken you have a reason to be hopeful because the solution is pretty simple. Hire a home stylist – a professional decorator or staging company – and heed their every word. A couple thousand dollars worth of paint, updates and rearranging furniture can make or break the deal.
2. If Your Home Is A Taylor Hicks Then Focus On Your Target Audience
Taylor Hicks was a plump, prematurely gray, man-child that soul-patrolled his way to victory – beating out the much better talents of Daughtry and Kathrine McPhee. At face value, he really did not have a chance to win the competition. So, what put him over the top? His uniqueness appealed to a niche audience.
If your home is a Taylor Hicks – one that’s different from the norm—then you need to find your target audience and market specifically to them. Who is that audience? People just like you. After all, you chose the unconventional home for a reason. There’s going to be someone else out there that shares your taste. Be prepared, however, for all the traditionalists to turn up their noses and move on.
Keep in mind that it’s not going to be an easy road. While Taylor surprisingly won American Idol because he was entertaining, he barely sold any albums. It turns out there really wasn’t much demand for his music style. Likewise, you may have people view your home because they are curious but getting someone to purchase may take some time.
3. If Your Home Is A William Hung Then Capitalize On Your Weakness
Only in America is it possible for William Hung to become a celebrity. His vocal skills were so bad it inspired multiple episodes of “The Worst of American Idol” every season after he performed. So, what was his secret to finding fame? He exploited his own weakness.
The market is currently ripe with William Hung houses. They dont’ have a chance. There is good news, however. The market is also ripe with buyers looking for a steal of a deal. Yep, there are plenty of investors and delusional HGTV addicts looking for a toad on a block of Prince Charmings. To get this house sold, price it like a toad, market it like a toad, and be amazed at how many princesses are willing to kiss toads! Oh, and be sure to sell it AS-IS just in case that whole toad fable wasn’t true.
4. If Your Home Is A Carrie Underwood Then Flaunt It Baby!
There’s not a red-blooded, heterosexual American male that doesn’t have a crush on Carrie Underwood. She’s got it all – beauty, personality, talent and in times of vehicular crisis, she prays for Nascar Jesus to take over. I’m sure she has her moments of bad breath, bed-head and bloating but face it, even then she’s still hot.
If your home is a Carrie Underwood you have the attention of the top brass. The best, most qualified buyers will line up for a chance to sign on the dotted line with you. At that point, you need to pull all stops and make yourself irresistible. Be sure to bring your A-game for every showing. Appeal to multiple senses – sights, sounds, smells – for maximum charm. Remember, you can afford to be choosy. Be sure to identify exactly what you want then be patient until you get it. By the way, you will need professional advice to navigate successfully through the commotion, so hire a great agent.
Seacrest Out
If you think your home has what it takes to be crowned with the Golden Sold Sign then give me a call. I hold auditions daily.
Regards,
The Ryan Seacrest of Realtors
