What American Idol Can Teach You About Selling Your Home

Picture this:

You are a contestant on American Idol and it’s down to the final 12 contestants. As a starry-eyed hopeful you can see your name in lights and feel the drool of rabid fans as you walk the red carpet hob-knobbing with Hollywood’s A-list.

Your final competitors are not a genuine threat to you. A few can sing well but are not very marketable. Others will crumble under the pressure and sabotage themselves. A couple more are barely hanging on but their days are numbered.

There are at least two, however, that could quickly send you to the “Top 10 Celebrity Wannabes” special on VH1. Nevertheless, with poise and a beautiful toothy smile you praise your competition to the camera while secretly hoping for a freakish intervention of Tanya Harding and Jeff Gilooly.

Nervously you face Simon, Paula, Randy and the Other One and brace for the shuttering verdict. Filtering through the patronizing and incoherent blathering, you recognize a unified response emanating from the judges,

“At this point in the competition, you really have to bring your ‘A’ Game, every time. No exceptions.”

The same is true for selling your home.

Is Your Home A Rockstar?

Like an Idol contestant your home is auditioning for a chance to be crowned the next American Dream Home. You’re up against a very eager band of competitors who are not going down without a fight. Eventually, the pack will be narrowed to the “Final 3” and the Judges, a.k.a. The Buyers, will carefully scrutinize the merits of each one before arriving at their final decision. The question is will your home make it to the final round?

Here’s the harsh reality -- after a full day of visiting homes most of them will be forgotten by the end of the day. These are the Bucky Covingtons of the home fray. Sure, they may eventually get a contract but it’s going to be a bumpy road. The homes that get the Kelly Clarkson treatment are the ones that really stand out from their competitors. They demonstrate true value. Only homes that are in tip-top shape and reasonably priced earn the right for Randy to call them, "Dawg".

A Common Disease: Abulitis

It’s astonishing how many contestants are delusional performers convinced they have exceptional talent -- regardless of what the rest of the world thinks. Remember Sanjaya with his funky hair and "I believe in myself attitude"? Enough said. Thinking too highly of yourself as a performer is a common disease called Abdulitis. It was first discovered when Paula looked at the camera and said, “I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am.” Oh, Paula, please stop.

Unfortunately, Abdulitis strikes many homeowners, too. Thinking too highly of your home is a common disease that can stop Buyers dead in their tracks.

Common symptoms of Abulitis include:

• Over pricing


• Over confidence resulting in lack of preparation


• Disregarding the advice of industry professionals


• Firing your Agent because the Judges rejected your home

You have every right to love your home and cherish the memories that were created there. Just like every doting parent believes their child is the best in the world. When it comes to selling that home, however, the only opinion that counts is that of the potential Buyers. You can’t take it personal if they don’t feel the same about the home as you do.

Moreover, the only antidote for Abulitis is a strong dose of Simon – someone who is willing to tell the truth and say what everyone else is already thinking. Yeah, it’s painful but you really need to hear it. You must be brutally honest about your home and make the necessary changes. Otherwise, you’re just another Trista, the cowardly lion (see the video on the right!)

So, what does it take to become the next American Dream Home with a promising contract and positive “net seller proceeds”? Here are a few tips that will help your home get a leg up on the competition.

1. If Your Home Is A Clay Aiken Then Get A Make Over

You may recall Clay’s initial audition: a scrawny little nerd that opened his mouth and blew the judges away. They put him through to the next round but told him to work on his appearance. The next time we saw him, his stylist miraculously created an outward appearance that matched his inward talent. (Well, sort of.)

If your home is a Clay Aiken you have a reason to be hopeful because the solution is pretty simple. Hire a home stylist – do whatever it takes to enlist the help of a professional decorator or staging company – and heed their every word. A couple thousand dollars worth of paint, updates and rearranging furniture can make or break the deal.

2. If Your Home Is A Taylor Hicks Then Focus On Your Target Audience

Taylor Hicks was a plump, prematurely gray, man-child that soul-patrolled his way to victory – beating out the better talents of Daughtry and Kathrine McPhee. At face value, he really did not have a chance to win the competition. So, what put him over the top? His uniqueness appealed to a niche audience.

If your home is a Taylor Hicks – one that’s different from the norm -- then you need to find your target audience and market specifically to them. Who is that audience? People just like you. After all, you chose the unconventional home for a reason. There’s going to be someone else out there that shares your taste.

Keep in mind that it’s not going to be an easy road. While Taylor surprisingly won American Idol because he was entertaining, he barely sold any albums. It turns out there really wasn’t much demand for his music style. Likewise, you may have people view your home because they are curious but getting someone to purchase may take some time.

3. If Your Home Is A William Hung Then Capitalize On Your Weakness

Only in America is it possible for William Hung to become a celebrity. His vocal skills were so bad it inspired multiple episodes of “The Worst of American Idol” every season after he performed. So, what was his secret to finding fame? He exploited his own weakness.

The market is currently ripe with William Hung houses. Everyone is looking to steal a deal. There are plenty of investors and delusional HGTV addicts who are looking for the toad located on a block of princes. To get this house sold, price it like a toad, market it like a toad, and be amazed at how many princesses are willing to kiss toads! Oh, and be sure to sell it AS-IS.

4. If Your Home Is A Carrie Underwood Then Flaunt It Baby!

There’s not a red-blooded, heterosexual American male that doesn’t have a crush on Carrie Underwood. She’s got it all – beauty, personality, talent and in times of vehicular crisis, she prays for Nascar Jesus to do the driving. Sure, she has her moments of bad breath, bed-head and bloating but face it, even then she’s hot.

If your home is a Carrie Underwood you have the attention of the top brass. The best, most qualified buyers will line up for a chance to sign on the dotted line with you. At that point, you need to pull all stops and make yourself irresistible. Be sure to bring your A-game for every showing. Appeal to multiple senses – sights, sounds, smells – for maximum charm. Remember, you can afford to be choosy. Be sure to identify exactly what you want then be patient until you get it. By the way, you will need professional advice to navigate successfully through the commotion. Hire a great agent.

Seacrest Out

If you think your home has what it takes to be crowned with the next American Sold Sign then give me a call. I hold auditions daily.

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